Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
God I need to hump something, right now.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
