Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
whose ass print is on the piano?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
