nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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