the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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