Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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