...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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