oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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