I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
