My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize