'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
