Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Randomize
