i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I had to cum in my sink.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
