I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Randomize
