We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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