remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Drunk walkin through police station. America
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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