Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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