HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
