I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I want a musical about memes.
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