Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
