yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
