what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize