Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
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He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
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It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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