it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
