Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
