Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
It was confusing and full of hummus
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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