its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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