You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Randomize
