Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
