All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
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He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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