Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
