you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
