i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
