"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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