oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
