it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Who died my cat blue again?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
