Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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