if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
