Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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