escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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