In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
