i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
she pinky promised me she was 18
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
