Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize
