just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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