I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.