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• (810): View more from Michigan

  When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.

  (1-810): View more from Michigan

  that probably didn't help your case.

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• (620): View more from Kansas

  my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"

  (785): View more from Kansas

  you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  Tell her she's as useless as a condom.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'

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• 

  17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (317): View more from Indiana

  Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?

  (812): View more from Indiana

  You're dead to me.

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.

  (905): View more from Ontario

  Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.

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• 

  These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (727): View more from Florida

  It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.

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• (408): View more from California

  I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.

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• (954): View more from Florida

  tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry

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