Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight

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(240): View more from Maryland

shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich

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(212): View more from New York

I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(815): View more from Illinois

I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell

(901): View more from Tennessee

thats the international knock for joint time

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(206): View more from Washington

I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table

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(307): View more from Wyoming

A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror

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(716): View more from New York

She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.

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