I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
