She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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