you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
