I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
