she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
