Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
