Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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