FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize