I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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