I only kidnapped one of them. chill
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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