pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
