You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
