Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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