I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
