very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
